Learning a language is like losing weight

Good advice for myself (and perhaps others).

From the article
Ten good habits for learning Japanese for life in Japan
by Eido Inoue (Adrian D. Havill)

Repetition with both writing and listening works best. Don't just mentally read and answer the exercises in the textbook. Copy the questions longhand whole to a notebook along with the answers. Verbally say and hear everything you write. There are tons of books with mnemonic systems. Maybe they work. Maybe they don't. But repetition does work. Nobody likes to hear that. Just like nobody likes to hear that the foolproof way to lose weight is to eat less and exercise more. Because it's hard work. You should approach learning a foreign language the same way you would exercise and diet. The exercise is the endless repetition of writing of the same words and phrases — longhand — over and over. It's the endless oral repetition of your written notes. It's the endless repetition of reading the same phrases over and over. The diet part? That's refraining from using too much of your native language in Japan (—or whatever country you're in).

Today I irritated the hell out of an old lady

Ah, language blunders…you gotta love 'em.

Before all that, though, I must point out that I'm currently snacking on hot tea and a wonderfully delicious loaf of bread.

It's the one on the left in the picture, made with lemon, pomelo, and chocolate chips, and it's out of this world.

The one on the right is chocolate and tangerine, which is next on my list.

The bakery is called Magie du Levain (樂凡) and it's only a couple of minutes from my work (桃園市永安北路466號).

OK, so here's what happened today.

I'd been out on my scooter, doing errands and on my way home, and decided that I wanted to make a salad for dinner. Instead of going to a grocery store where I'd have to find a parking spot and go inside the store, I thought it would be much more efficient to find a vegetable stand down some back alley. Which I did.

I pulled up in front of the stand, but didn't see any lettuce. There may have been lettuce in the rear part of the shop, but I was feeling too lazy to get off my scooter to take a look. So I decided to be authentically Taiwanese and just sit on my scooter and ask the laobanniang (lady shopkeeper) if she had any lettuce.

(I should point out that previously I'd learned the Chinese word for lettuce as 生菜 shēng tsài. Also, when you look up 'lettuce' in various online dictionaries, the first translation it gives is sheng tsai—just so you know I'm not making this stuff up.)

ME: Qing wen, you mei you sheng tsai? Excuse me, do you have lettuce?

SHOPKEEPER: Zhe bian. Here (pointing to cilantro).

ME: Bu shi, wo bu yao xiang tsai. You sheng tsai ma?  No that's not it, I don't want cilantro. Do you have lettuce?

SHOPKEEPER: Zhe bian you a. Yeah, it's right here! (once again motioning toward the cilantro and starting to get pissed)

ME: Wo zhi dao, zhe shi XIANG tsai, ke shi wo yao SHENG tsai…SSSHHENG TSAI. Um, yeah, I know this is cilantro, but I want lettuce…LET-TUCE!

SHOPKEEPER: (waving her hand and walking away, mumbling obscenities under her breath)

There was nothing to do but leave.

I reassured myself that I had been pronouncing the words flawlessly; it was simply a matter of this short-tempered woman not recognizing impeccable Chinese when she heard it.

I later called my friend, a Chinese language god among men, to ask him where I'd gone wrong. He informed me that, despite Google Translate, sheng tsai actually means any leafy vegetable, so when you ask for it you'll be shown any leafy vegetable the shop happens to have on hand.

Like cilantro.

The actual word for lettuce is 萵苣, pronounced wō jù.  

So instead of a salad I whipped up a delightful broccoli cheese soup. I'm still contemplating whether or not to risk further humiliation by returning to the vegetable stand to explain myself.

To me, this is what makes the world beautiful

The following is just a random video of some friends taking a road trip in Norway.

The young woman diver is Norwegian. And black. And singing along to a Korean song. Passengers include her Norwegian-speaking friends of Vietnamese and Sri Lankan descent.

The mixture of ethnicities, languages, and silly camaraderie brings the biggest smile to my face.

Note: The video cannot be embedded. However, you can click here or below to watch it on YouTube.

She (I wish I knew her name) also speaks fluent English. Her blog is at The Manifestation of Randomness.

A bilingual pun (explained)

The Chinese words sound like the English words when pronounced with a Chinese accent.
The Chinese meaning is appropriate for any language.

忙Day     "Mang'day"   Busy Day

求死Day  "Chius'day"   Requesting-Death Day

未死Day  "Ways'day"    Haven't-Died-Yet Day

受死Day  "Shows'day"  Accept-Death Day

福來Day  "Fulai'day"    Good Fortune-Comes Day

Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?!

I have a cold this Halloween weekend...bleh.

Today I went to B&Q, which is a Home Depot type of store here. I needed to get some adhesive to glue down the glide runner in the track for the sliding doors into my bedroom area (you can see the doors in my apartment tour) ----------------->

So I found the adhesive aisle. I needed to get a glue that could attach plastic to wood. However, all the labels are written in Chinese--as would be expected--and I didn't have hours to spare trying to look up the words in my electronic dictionary. So I picked out a couple of likely candidates, judging from the pictures on the packages.

I approached a B&Q employee who was standing at the end of the glue aisle and asked him, "請問,我要這個...跟...木頭. 哪個可以用...?"

This works out to, "Excuse me, I want this [showing him my piece of plastic] with wood [pantomiming gluing the plastic to a wood shelf nearby]. Which one can be used?" [showing him the two adhesives]

My Chinese vocabulary was severely limited; however, I thought the words I did use, combined with my Oscar-worthy body language, would adequately convey my simple inquiry.

Without even seeming to want to try to understand me, the guy said to wait and he'd get some English-speaking help. He went off to the distant front of the store, and I wondered if I would ever see him again.

I looked around for someone else who might help me. I spotted two female employees that were waiting in the aisle, poised to help customers. Alas, when my questioning eyes caught theirs, they got panicked looks in their faces--probably assuming I would barrage them with English--and quickly pretended to be busy with other tasks.

I was getting a little peeved because I felt all of this was unnecessary. It was a very simple inquiry ("A or B?") and I hadn't used any English yet. But, a foreigner walks into a store and everyone panics because they assume he can't speak a word of Chinese, and they doubt their English ability.



By the way, did you know that our 31st President and First Lady, Herbert and Lou Hoover, spoke Mandarin?

Anyway, back to the story. The original employee eventually came back, empty-handed so to speak, so he tried to enlist the help of the two women whom I previously mentioned. They were having none of that, and quickly tried to find a fourth employee who could possibly help this wretched anglophone in their midst. My "說中文OK吧" (Let's speak Chinese, it's OK) fell on deaf ears.

At last, the hapless trio managed to flag someone down. I explained my dilemma to the guy, who seemed to have no difficulty understanding my limited Chinese. He read the packages for a few seconds, handed me one, and said in English, "This one."

Why couldn't I have found this guy in the first place?

Although I knew their hearts were in the right place--doing all that's necessary to assist the customer--that much drama didn't seem warranted for a US$3.00 tube of glue.

So, to my adopted compatriots: Don't be shy to use your English, no matter how limited you think it is. At the same time, though, please don't overlook my attempts to speak Chinese.

Anniversary in Taiwan

Today marks 2.5 years since I arrived in Taiwan. What did I do to celebrate? Nothing, just mundane errands.

I skipped my Chinese class this morning because I didn't go to bed until 3:30am. Long story short, it took me that long to locate, download, and watch the latest episode of Survivor that I could access in Taiwan.

I filled out my absentee voting ballot and mailed it. I'm very curious if Proposition 19--legalizing marijuana in California--will pass.

I went to the store to buy some toothpaste (Black Man brand).

I picked up a biandang for lunch.

Pretty boring, I know.

OK, here's a story from Tuesday. I went to a nearby clinic to get my yearly flu shot. As I was filling out paperwork at the reception counter, a middle-aged Taiwanese woman, who was also at the counter, got a wide-eyed look on her face when I presented my National Health Insurance card. She then proceeded to make remarks to the receptionist about how surprising it was that I would have an insurance card.

I got a bit upset because she had an arrogant tone, and apparently she figured I couldn't understand her Chinese. I turned to her and, a bit rashly, blurted out, "我住台灣, 所以我有健保卡." (I live in Taiwan, so I have an insurance card) I felt bad for getting a bit testy, but that feeling vanished when she haughtily looked me over and asked (in English), "Oh, are you Taiwanese?"

I shot back, "不是, 我是美國人, 可是我在台灣工作." (No, I'm American, but I work in Taiwan.) I so wanted to add, "and I pay taxes" but I don't know how to say 'taxes' in Chinese, and at that point I refused to speak English.

I mention this story for two reasons. First, to show that Taiwan does have its negative sides, no matter how much I may wax poetic about it. (Although the vast majority of Taiwanese I've met are friendly). And second, now having been the victim of "it's OK to talk about him in front of his face because he doesn't understand"--of which I've been guilty--I'm determined not to do this to anyone else.

I think tonight after work I'll celebrate my 2.5 years here by eating yuyuan douhua (bean curd with sweet potato and taro) and watching mahjong on TV.

So Taiwanese :-)

Chinglish (and Englinese?)

Click here for some laughs:

A Sampling of Chinglish: slideshow

Of course, I'm sure I make some howlers when I mangle Chinese (I call it “Englinese”).

Speaking of which, I'm proud to say I'm still on track. As of yesterday, I remembered the meaning, pronunciation, reading ,and writing of the following words for this week (patting myself on the back here, but also testing myself today as I write these):

有意思	yǒu yì si	to be interesting		試	shì	to try
說	shuō	to speak		慢	màn	slow
首	shǒu	[measure:songs]		週末	zhōu mò	weekend
密碼	mì mǎ	password		喝	hē	to drink
愉快	yú kuài	happy		吸煙	xī yān	to smoke
肉絲	ròu sī	shredded meat		得	de	[particle:manner/degree]
能	néng	can (physically)		可以	kě yǐ	can (permission)
會	huì	can (learned)		聽	tīng	to hear, listen
茄子	qié zi	eggplant		青椒	qīng jiāo	green pepper
話	huà	word		事	shì	matter, affair
歌	gē	song		難	nán	difficult
有一點	yǒu yì diǎn	slightly		意思	yì si	meaning
好像	hǎo xiàng	to seem to be		酒	jiǔ	alcohol
念	niàn	to read		番茄	fān qié	tomato
真	zhēn	real, true		做事	zuò shì	to take care of matters
畫畫	huà huà	to paint, draw		寫	xiě	to write
教	jiāo	to teach		飯	fàn	food, cooked rice
點飯	diǎn fàn	to order food		唱	chàng	to sing
無線上網	wú xiàn shàng wǎng	wireless Internet		味道	wèi dào	flavor
現在	xiàn zài	now

There are two words from this week that I keep forgetting how to write, although I can recognize the meaning and pronunciation when I see them:

不錯

bú cuò

not bad

跳舞

tiào wǔ

to dance

Did you notice that there are two words above pronounced exactly alike? SHÌ (試 to try) and SHÌ (事 matter). These homophones significantly complicate my learning.

Add to these some other words that I already know—

SHÌ (是 to be)
SHÌ (市 city,market)
SHÌ (式 style)
SHÌ (視 part of the word for TV)
SHÌ (世 part of the word for world)

—Plus some other SHIs that I know with different tones—

SHĪ (師 part of the word for teacher)
SHĪ (獅 lion)
SHÍ (十 ten)
SHÍ (時 hour)
SHÍ (石 stone)
SHǏ (屎 excrement)

—well, the picture sums it up pretty well.

This is why I love languages

Here's a Japanese girl and Nigerian guy speaking Yoruba. So cool.

I hate this guy

Not really. He speaks amazing Cantonese and Mandarin.

Um, yeah, I guess I do hate him :-Þ

China's English bubble almost ready to pop

Here's the story:

Last December the employees and students of the Kai En chain of English training centers in Shanghai arrived to their schools to a very rude surprise: After 13 years of operation, one of the oldest and best known English training companies in Shanghai had suddenly gone out of business.

The directors had fled the country, leaving the employees of the five branches owed months of back-wages and customers without refunds for their expensive pre-paid courses.

When looking at this in the context of Chinese and international trends, it could be a preview of things to come for China's English language industry. CLICK TO READ MORE...

Chinese study update

My main New Year's Resolution is to study Chinese every day, including writing. So far I've kept on task (patting myself on back).

Last week I concentrated on memorizing "banker's numbers." These characters are more complicated than the everyday use ones, and are akin to spelling out the numbers in English when writing a check. For example:

The normal number 1 is written 一. This can easily be changed to 2 (二), 7 (七), etc.

The banker's number for 1, however, is 壹, which is nearly impossible to alter.

Here's a list in case you're curious:

  1 一 壹 yī
  2 二 貳 èr
  3 三 參 sān
  4 四 肆 sì
  5 五 伍 wǔ
  6 六 陸 liù
  7 七 柒 qī
  8 八 捌 bā
  9 九 玖 jiǔ
10 十 拾 shí

During my last visit to the bank, I was quite proud to be able to fill out my deposit slip from memory. However, that pride slipped into embarrassment; having recently moved, I didn't know how to write my new address.

So, that's what I'm concentrating on this week.

桃園縣 Taoyuan County
蘆竹鄉 Luzhu Township
段,號,樓 Section, Number, Floor

Let's hope I don't have to go #2

It's 10:00am, and I'm getting ready to go to work. I turn on the faucet...no water. Hmmm.

This happened to me once before, last year, in my old apartment. Apparantly, an announcement had been posted in the elevator notifiying the residents of a temporary water shut-off. I assume that's the situation now.

I just now went to the elevator...ah, there's the notice:



Or, is it? Who knows?

And so, here's yet another reason for me to work on my New Years resolution to get off my lazy ass and start studying Chinese seriously.

An inspiration to study harder

I'm humbled again by yet another 外國人 (foreigner) who has a conversational command of Chinese.

A rose by any other name would still be drenched

It's 11:00 am Sunday, and the rain continues to fall outside. I'm crossing my fingers that we get a typhoon day off on Monday for super typhoon Jangmi (Korean for 'rose').

I'm going back to bed. Yeah, it's 11:00am, blah blah. Late last night I discovered MySpace's cool new music play list thingy, resulting in my staying up until 4:30 this morning.

I'm up now only because someone phoned me and woke me. Don't know who it was; I was half-asleep when I answered the phone. The guy sounded businesslike, but he was speaking Chinese and I wasn't comprehending. I kept hearing the word 工作 ('work') and in my disorientd fog I thought it might be someone from my job. I asked 不好意思,你是誰? ("Excuse me, who is this?"), at which he continued to ramble, sounding a bit like a telemarketer. I finally got it through my sleepy skull that this guy didn't realize that I wasn't comprehending him, so I told him 我是美國人.聽不懂 ("I'm an American. I don't understand.") I guess my mistake was saying it in Chinese, because he continued (his sales pitch?). I finally said, in English, "I'm sorry, I don't understand." He finally paused, said a couple of more sentences (no, not "Sorry for disturbing you" or acknowledging that he might have the wrong number), and then hung up. I still don't know what happened there.

Speaking of conversating...

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