Rough day

This past month has been full of emotional ups and downs.

Today is a down.

Now that all the family I grew up with is gone, I feel like that part of my life is gone as well, as if somehow it has expired or that it never even really existed.

My sister's death has affected me more than my mom or dad's. It wasn't supposed to be now, like this. We were supposed to become old and reminisce together about our growing up.

Every day that I think about it, I still can't believe she's gone, that she chose to be gone. It's like I'm in some kind of Matrix dream world. It's affecting my sleep, which doesn't help matters.